Harlow's Birth Story

Date of birth: 01/11/2024 @ 2:59AM

From the moment I discovered I was pregnant, I had been under the care of my OBGYN. The thought of a homebirth had always lingered in my mind, like a mysterious, uncharted path. However, I felt lost in the maze of information, unsure of how to take the first step toward this journey.

As my pregnancy progressed, I found myself drawn to the idea of an unmedicated birth—a natural experience that resonated deeply with me. Despite my evolving desires, I initially planned to stick with the hospital setting. It wasn’t until I hit the 28-week mark that everything shifted. In a moment of clarity, I decided to hire a doula to help navigate the uncharted waters of my unmedicated aspirations.

When my husband and I met with Ali—the incredible doula who would eventually become a midwife—we shared our hopes and hesitations. Ali radiated care and confidence, offering us a plethora of resources. Among them was Tiffanie’s number, a midwife who could potentially guide us through the homebirth experience. Ali had provided a list of midwives to interview, but time was not on our side; I was already in my third trimester, and I felt the pressure. Then Ali said something that ignited a fire within me: “Your first birth isn’t practice; your first labor isn't practice; it’s real. So why wouldn’t you try to make it an experience that you desire?” Those words echoed in my mind that night. I realized I had the power to shape this experience into something personal and meaningful for my family and I.

By the time I reached 30 weeks, I met Tiffanie for the first time. The moment we sat down together, a sense of comfort washed over me. Her knowledge, compassion, and genuine love for her work were palpable. After that first consultation, I felt a profound certainty: this was the right path for me and my baby. With Tiffanie by our side, I knew I could embrace this journey without a shred of hesitation.

Stepping into the realm of childbirth for the first time, I felt both exhilarated and apprehensive. How could I truly prepare for something so monumental? The stories I had heard and the books I’d read swirled in my mind, but nothing could replicate the reality of the experience.

Two days before the big day, on January 8th, I found myself in the throes of false labor. As the contractions came and went, doubt crept in. Could I really do this? The twinges I felt were just a shadow of what real labor would be, and the uncertainty made me question my decision to have a homebirth. That night, the contractions faded, and I managed to sleep, waking to a completely normal day.

But on January 10th, everything changed. Around 5:30 a.m., I was jolted awake by contractions that refused to stop. They escalated quickly, settling into a rhythm of three minutes apart. I tried to find comfort, starting in the bathtub since my birth tub wasn’t ready yet, then transitioning to my bed for a few hours. Finally, as the birth tub was prepped, I slipped into its warm embrace.

Hours passed, and by the time my midwife arrived around 6 p.m., I was deep in the haze of labor, nearly twelve hours in without knowing how far I had dilated. After what felt like an eternity in labor, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this would stretch on forever. I turned to Tiffanie and asked "how much longer," to which she replied, "I can check you if you'd like." She could see in my eyes I was hoping for a glimmer of progress. Just after her evaluation, I felt a sudden rush—my water had broken! Tiffanie calmly suggested the dreaded side-lying position to help guide the baby into the optimal position for birth. As I settled into that position, a wave of realization washed over me: my dilation wasn’t as far along as I had hoped.

But instead of feeling disheartened, a spark of motivation ignited within me. Ali continually reminded me that each contraction brought me closer to my baby (after I asked for drugs, a ride to the hospital, and more drugs), and I refused to let the news dampen my spirit. This was my journey, and I was ready to take on every moment of it, no matter how challenging. Labor land enveloped me—I was lost in my own world, barely speaking, only remembering fleeting key moments.

I moved between the bedroom, the shower, the toilet, and back to the birth tub, where I eventually began to push when it was just after midnight(January 11th). It was an extraordinary shift—pushing felt instinctual, a primal response to the contractions. Tiffanie recognized the change in my sounds and asked, “Summer, are you starting to bear down?” I replied with a mix of surprise and affirmation; it was definitely happening.

Throughout the ordeal, my mother and my mother-in-law played a crucial role, gently forcing water and electrolyte drinks into my mouth, along with bites of food I wouldn’t have thought to ask for. Massaging me, rubbing my back, squeezing my hips, getting me cold towels and blankets when I got cold. I was so focused, so deep in my zone, that I hardly noticed my surroundings. Though I knew I was surrounded by the ones I love, even our pitbull Chevy. Antonio read me hypnobirthing stories, weaving calmness through the intensity, helping me to drift through contractions with a serene focus.

But as the hours wore on, impatience grew, desperate to speed things along, I asked Tiffanie how to make things happen faster. She had me get out of the tub, lie on the floor, and she checked again. To my relief, she could see Harlow’s hair(full head of dark hair)—fully dilated and ready to make her grand entrance. I resumed pushing on the floor, next to the tub, with renewed determination.

For the next 20-30 minutes, I poured everything I had into each push. It was vital to push only with the contractions, conserving energy and allowing Harlow’s head to stretch slowly to avoid tearing. I knew all of this because Tiffanie was there guiding me each step, reassuring me, educating me. In an incredible 12 minutes, from crowning to delivery, she emerged—no tearing at all! The relief I felt was unbelievable, and I couldn’t help but feel victorious.

Tiffanie assisted as Antonio caught her, laying her on my chest, a moment that felt both surreal and overwhelmingly beautiful. The placenta, however, proved a little stubborn. Tiffanie and Ali had to massage my abdomen and administer tinctures to help it along. Finally, when it was all over, it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted.

While my mother and mother-in-law whisked Harlow away to tidy up her beautiful hair in the kitchen sink, Tiffanie gently guided me to my bed, ready to conduct Harlow’s first exam right by my side. As she weighed our little girl—8 pounds 4 ounces, a perfect 21 inches long—I felt a rush of happiness.

It was then time for Harlow’s first nursing session, and with zero experience under my belt, I was grateful for Tiffanie’s support. She patiently guided me through the intricacies of breastfeeding, offering tips and nurturing reassurance as I began this new chapter of motherhood.

The next day, Tiffanie returned to check on us and perform the newborn screening, again in the cozy comfort of our bed. Her comprehensive care felt like a warm embrace; we had truly found a gem in her. Any questions or uncertainties I had, no matter how small, were met with her calming presence and expert advice. With Tiffanie by our side, I felt empowered, ready to take in every moment with our little Harlow.

The entire journey had lasted 21 hours, and although I felt like I had been hit by a truck the next morning, the bliss of holding my baby girl made every moment worth it. Thank you Tiffanie for all you do, you are forever a part of one of the most important days of my family's life.